And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
