I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
