you guys were way drunker than both of me
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
bring money and cleavage
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
