yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
