Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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