Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
