In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize