Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I had to cum in my sink.
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