I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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