God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
