Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
