I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
