Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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