1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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