I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
