im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
