Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
