Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
