I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
