I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Randomize
