At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize