The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
