what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
