Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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