Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
