So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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