Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
