Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
