He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
