Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
