Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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