i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
