Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
