I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
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