Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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