I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
What a dumb baby whore.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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