You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
