Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
