I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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