he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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