About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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