I look better un-naked...
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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