Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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