Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
