Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
