I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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