Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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