All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
