if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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