omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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