im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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