North Korea, Best Korea!
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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