White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
