I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
