help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
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