If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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