It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
