P.S. I can't hear my feet
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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