Got a toothbrush?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I believe in your delicious
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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