Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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