how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
