were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
